I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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