accomplished twins. life is a go
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
