If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
