I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
