You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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