Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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