wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
