Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
