My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
