so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
