Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
