question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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