I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
