Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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