i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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