Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
