I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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