We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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