tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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