then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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