she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
