Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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