Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
