I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
