The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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