Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
