im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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