We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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