dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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