Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she woke up with a sticky ear
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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