I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize