can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
