Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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