Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
