I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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