so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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