Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
