this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
