Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
