why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
