i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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