that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
