i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
