hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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