FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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