guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
