I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
