Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do vagina's smell?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Randomize
