went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
