girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
