somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
