Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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