Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
