It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
