just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
