So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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