The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
