So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
