Can i not drive my cunt home
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Drunk is not a location!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
