sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
