she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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