I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize